For every music enthusiast reading this, the satisfaction and excitement of discovering new music is a feeling we’re all very well acquainted to. I’d go as far as to argue that it’s that very feeling which makes someone so passionate about music in the first place. Whether it’s manifested out of a chance encounter with an unknown song, or the discovery of Spotify’s personalised playlists, the feeling is universal. An endless supply of music exists in the world, music that’s ready to be discovered, ready to be found, played and played again, and when you do find it, it’s almost as if it’s a gift given to you, signed and sealed by the universe.
[Mostly] everyone has that one artist that they’ve always connected to a little more than the rest. It’s something I regularly ask people, who that one artist is for them. There’s always a few who respond with ‘I just listen to whatever’s on the radio’, to which I respond with a blank stare and swiftly change the subject, but those that do immediately give you an answer, they’ll probably tell you it’s an artist where, if they hit play on a new song, they’ll almost already know that they’ll leave completely infatuated with both the song and the artist a little more than they were before.
However, most songs we come across won’t give us that feeling, nor that connection that we so greatly look for. Oh well. You can assume it happens nine out of ten times you listen to something that you’ve never heard before. You get used to it. But what if that mood doesn’t dissipate? Without warning, you’re suddenly apathetic about your passion for discovering new music. The one thing you could rely on to never disappoint.
The cause for feeling such a way is usually one of two things:
Firstly, research done using Spotify data by Skynet & Ebert concluded that we very quickly lose touch with the mainstream as we get older. We look for more ‘underground’ music in our late 20s, and on average, stop actively finding new music as we approach our mid-thirties. We never return to the mainstream, but instead return to the artists we loved when we were younger. If you’re not past your 30th birthday, you can comfortably write that off as the reason you have become averse to discovering new music.
The other cause might be a more accurate explanation in such case. Depression.
Technically speaking, depression is a low mood lasting for a prolonged period of time. For some, it’s caused by chemical imbalances in our brain, for most, extended periods of anxiety/fatigue/low self-esteem are usually as a result of a life event which triggers these feelings. However, a lack of a major depressive episode or a clinical diagnosis doesn’t stop anyone from feeling symptoms of depression. This could in fact, be one of the most significant signs to explain why you might not be loving something you thought you were once forever obsessed with.
What I’m referring to is anhedonia – defined as the inability to experience pleasure from activities that you would normally enjoy. This might be starting to sound familiar.
When The Weeknd’s Starboy and Childish Gambino’s ”Awaken, My Love!” were released in late 2016, I really had to force myself to listen to both albums from front to back. In fact, I couldn’t even finish the Gambino project. Not for a lack of quality, or initial excitement when they were first announced either. This was music that I knew I should’ve enjoyed, they were both very solid albums, albums I would otherwise gladly have listened to multiple times over, but I just didn’t care.
Looking back and seeing the state of the world at the time, maybe it had a part to play. A megalomaniacal inside-out musty Jaffa Cake just became probably the most powerful and most talked about person in the world. I had work, exams, and various other seemingly never-ending things on my to-do list. Most nights, dreaming of being killed in World War 3, or probably less exciting, failing an exam. Every morning, waking up alone, and feeling less and less interested in the latest album release.
Of course, trying to battle with any form of anhedonia is like a blind armless man trying to solve a Rubik’s cube. You can try as hard as you want to, but the colours will just become more misaligned than they were when you began. However, if you’re like me and just wanted to take that small first step to reclaim your love for something you loved, the answer might already be in your playlist.
For the first day in months, I switched myself off from the outside world. No Twitter, no Snapchat, no SoundCloud, no Recently Added playlists. I went to the beginning, one of the first albums that I really connected with. An album I’d neglected in the search for the new. Before I knew it, I was back in my element. The album (Section.80 for anyone wondering) had me analysing lyrics, researching samples, rapping along to the most memorable lines. I was back in love with music, even if just for the day, and that feeling was irreplaceable.
Everything I’ve said about music can be, in some shape or form, applied to whatever situation you find yourself in that might have you feeling symptoms of anhedonia. It’s a simple solution to a complex problem: finding comfort in your favourites. Whether that be your favourite music in my case, favourite people, favourite place, favourite memory etc. We all too frequently allow the dense anhedonia-filled cloud to cover the real reasons a (sometimes tiny) part of us is glad that we wake up every morning.
While it might be not be a prescriptive long-term solution, a small comfort can go a long way, and if you ever need help improving your mental health, hesitation shouldn’t get in the way of seeking it. Help can come in many forms, and can last for an hour, a day, a week, or the rest of your life. For me, allowing an old comfort to return, in the chaos of looking for the new, helped me remember why I fell in love with music in the first place. At our lowest moments, we should make a habit of pressing play on our most comforting ‘albums’.
And then we all wake up and realise that Trump is still president, his cousin is about to become Prime Minister, exams remain, and the to-do list is as long as ever. The good news however, is that I finally listened to “Awaken, My Love”, and I haven’t stopped playing it since.
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